Sometimes

Sometimes life is an up
Sometimes life is a down
But what you gonna do?
Will you smile or will you frown?

If you frown then you feel bad
And everything around seems bad
But if you smile, although it may take a while
Then you will see that you are free
To do things that others can only wish for
And smiling makes it seem alright

You have one life so make it count
Don’t sit and wonder of how things could be and doubt
If you want something bad enough
Whatever that may be
Reach out, Chase your dreams
Be whatever you want
You see…..

Dreaming big along with positivity goes a long way
Don’t let others get in your way
Don’t be scared to go your own path
And maybe one day…..??

Risk things- the worse that can happen is they don’t work out
So what? At least you have tried

Every person has life’s share of up’s and down’s
And it’s every person’s decision
Whether they smile or frown
Make the right decision 😉

Plans are meant to be made

Having moved to Bangsaen mid-April I have been feeling slightly lost and lonely. I had a few days in Bangkok with my friend and then another weekend in Bangkok with some other friends and each time I had a fantastic time- but then I return to my new place and still feel a little deflated. Deflation- what’s all that about? One definition is “brought low in spirit” and that is definitely how I am feeling at the moment. I am not generally an unhappy person, nothing gets me down, I am always cheerful but I can’t muster any enthusiasm for anything at the moment.
However, I know myself and I know that in a few weeks once I start work and start to meet new people I will become excited about Thailand again and love living here but that’s in a few weeks. Although my friend did say to me that I am lucky to have the choices I have-not everyone has that. And this is very true.

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It was the same when I started to live in Surin, although I had a Thai friend with me, it took me a while to meet people and get to know people and in the end I loved living there. At least in Bangsaen I already have a couple of friends who I have seen over the past few days and who helped me to celebrate my birthday.
But when you live in a foreign country away from your loved ones all your feelings seem heightened. As my mother told me it is my choice to come and live here (and you know your mother is always right) and it would be a knee-jerk reaction to go home. This is not an option for me but it has crossed my mind.

Never-make-permanent-decisions-on-temporary-feelings
So the best thing I can do is get a new plan and one of my friends, Doyle, told me that one of the things he loves about me is that I always have a plan.

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So my plan is: –
1. To get fit- and I mean really fit which means cutting out the booze and cigarettes (cutting out seems so extreme so it’ll just be cutting down for now).
2. To save loads of money- I still want to travel and see other countries so while I am teaching in Thailand it gives me the opportunity to save. Plus as I will be getting fit I won’t be going out and spending loads of money.
3. To learn languages- since I finished my Open University degree I have been lost without it so before I left the UK I started to improve my Thai and start learning Hindi. I need to speak Thai better than I do because I live in Thailand and Hindi is just for fun, although I plan to visit India at some point so that will come in handy. And I may throw a bit of Arabic in there as well. One never knows when languages will come in handy.

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Whether these plans come to fruition time will tell but plans are good- they keep you focused and determined, instead of knee-jerk reactions. So after my contract finishes (or before) I can re-assess things and go from there.
I started to write this over a week ago and today I am feeling better about things already. Mostly I have my head screwed on and know what I want to do (although that awareness never came to me until only a few years ago) but sometimes, just sometimes I get confused and thrown about how I feel about things- but like I said I know myself and I know that I will be excited again about living in the place that I love and who knows what the future will bring.

An Ode to my Folks

I have never contemplated poetry before but this attempt has been made for my family: 😉

An Ode to The Folks

After two years at home

It’s time once more

To leave the sunny Shire

 

But please don’t be sad

Cos I am glad

To leave,

I need to breathe

In the land that I love so much.

 

Mum and Roy are full of joy

That I am leaving them once more,

Two years have passed, they are aghast,

It was only supposed to be a year.

 

I have had a special time living with my folks

I just hope

They know how much.

 

We have shared a lot of fun and laughter,

Even though Mum shouts at her eldest daughter

-hang the washing out- no not that way

-do the ironing- turn the trousers inside out

-clean your room-

-you make too much noise

And there is a whole lot more,

But I adore

The time that we have had.

 

I thank you so much for putting me up,

Or putting up with me!

Thanks for the wine

Thanks for the gin

Thanks for the family shenanigans

 

My family- wherever I am

You are never far away

You are my all and I love you all

There are no words to say.

 

My sisters and brothers,

Like you there are no others.

Have seen Trev twice, it might be thrice

But glad I saw you at all!

 

As the song goes:

Am leaving on a jet plane,

Don’t know when I’ll be back again.

So be happy and no tears,

And let my last 3 days be full of cheers!

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